Let’s Make Some Noise!

TBTN is a chance to be out on the street and be loud about tough stuff that our community needs to be talking about.

If you have a drum, tabourine, kazoo, horn or other awesome noise making-type thing, you should bring it!

If you don’t have something to make noise with it can be as easy as putting some pebbles in a used water bottle.

Here are some other folks on the internet who have ideas about how to make noisemakers:

• How to make a rainmaker
• All sorts of noisemaker craft ideas
• Even more noisemaker craft ideas

I think its worth pointing out that these websites are geared towards kids but we can all use some awesome crafting times sometimes, no matter what age we are…

About the Content of this Blog…

This blog was started as a forum to talk about tough stuff that affects most people’s lives.  While this can be tough stuff to read and talk about these are discussions that need to be happening in our communities.

Some of the material we post on this blog may be triggering.

Whatever feelings that come up while reading any blog (anger, fear, joy) they are not feelings you need to deal with alone.

There are infinite ways to cope with difficult feelings or to take care of ourselves!

One idea could be to call SACHA’s twenty-four hour support line to chat – 905.525.4162.  Folks of any gender who are survivors, supporting survivors or wanting to talk about challenging topics like sexual violence and other forms of abuse are welcome to call anytime.

What are some things that you do to take care of yourself?

50 Ideas for Coping

1. Call the SACHA’s twenty-four hour support line 905.525.4162.
2. Breathe.
3. Have an old-fashioned temper tantrum.  Lie on a bed and punch and kick the bed. 
4. Watch a funny movie that helps you laugh.
5. Watch a sad movie that helps you cry.
6. Read a fluffy book.
7. Sing.
8. Go for a walk.
9. Write a letter to the child that you were.  Tell her the things an adult should have told her when the abuse was happening.
10. Colour with crayons.
11. Dance.
12. Meditate.
13. Do something fun for the season.  Make snow angels.  Play in leaves.  Make a dandelion bouquet. 
14. Scream.
15. Bake chocolate chip cookies.
16. Take a bubble bath.
17. Snuggle with your pet.
18. Cry.
19. Slow down.
20. Go to the library.
21. Listen to music.
22. Talk to someone you trust who supports you as a survivor.
23. Write down all the successes on your healing journey so far.
24. Journal.
25. Play with children.
26. Listen to a relaxation tape.
27. Look through a coffee table book with pictures of a country that you would love to travel to one day.
28. Wrap yourself in a soft warm blanket.
29. Do something kind for yourself.  Even if it’s uncomfortable.  Especially if it’s uncomfortable.
30. Go to a park and people watch.
31. Make a craft.
32. Hug a tree.
33. Put post-it notes around your home with self-affirmations.
34. Create a comfort box.  In the box, put things that give you comfort through each of your 5 senses.  Something you can smell, taste, see, hear and feel – like your favourite essential oil, chocolate, a picture of your pet, a CD of whale songs, a piece of velvet.  Experience the feeling of each item in your comfort box.
35. Do a crossword puzzle.
36. Rock in a rocking chair.
37. Do yoga.
38. If your abuser is dead, write an obituary that tells the truth about that person.
39. Ask someone who treats you with respect and who you trust what they like about you.  Truly hear what they are telling you without rejecting it.
40. Do some gardening.
41. Read the comics.
42. Go to the gym.
43. Pop bubble wrap.
44. Feed ducks by the water.
45. Play with play-doh.
46. Take a nap.
47. Invite a neighbour over for coffee.
48. Watch videos on You Tube.
49. Hold a seashell to your ear and listen to the ocean.
50. Light a candle and watch the flame flicker and sway.

Being a Male Ally: How We Can Help

Taylor blogs at No Greater Male Supporter where you could find him musing on victim blaming, sexism, allyship and sometimes hockey.  Taylor is generously guest blogging for TBTN Hamilton.

As prefaced in my last post, here are some ways male allies can help:

We can be okay with just being there in solidarity. We don’t always have to speak. Our presence alone can speak volumes, whether it’s at a rally or a bookclub.

We can invest energy in learning about all oppressed groups, not just our female loved ones who face oppression. If we read up on homophobia, racism, ableism, ageism, transphobia, et cetera, we’ll have a much broader spectrum through which we view how oppression works and how it can be counteracted. “Whistling Vivaldi” by Claude Steele is a great example of a book that encourages such a perspective.  Challenge yourself to be a Feminist all the time, not just when you’re around your girlfriend.

How to Eff Up (There’s Some Cussing Below! Be Warned!)

Here’s a excerpt from an Absolutely Excellent, rad post, called (and I quote) “How to F**k Up”, by Teh Portly Dyke:

That’s what this post is about. “How to F**k Up” — and how to clean up when you fuck up.

I have a little tool that I call “The Four A’s” (I learned it from an absolutely fantastic teacher) and it has helped me through numerous f**k-ups in my life.

When you “F**k Up” (whether the f**k-up is minor or major) practice the “Four A’s”.

1. Acknowledgment
2. Apology
3. Amends
4. Action

How to Tell Someone They Sound Racist

…or sexist… or class-elitist …or anti-Semitic … or heteronormative… or ablist … or … otherwise oppressive:

This video is awesome because…

a) It Feels Great — Jay Smooth is hilarious! And not even dismissive while doing it. Look at that — non-oppressive humour! Awesome!!

b) It is Eloquent

TBTN Sign Making Party at Women’s Weekly

Catholic Family Service’s and Good Shepherd Women’s Services in Hamilton will be hosting a sign making party as part of their Women’s Weekly series.

When: Tuesday, September 14, 2011 from 5:30-7:30pm

The first half of the evening Phil Fleming, a detective from Hamilton Police Service’s Family Violence Resource Unit, will be speaking and in the second half the glitter, poster board and markers will come out to make amazing TBTN signs!

Snacks, coffee, tea, childcare and bus tickets are all offered.

For the location of Women’s Weekly and for more information please contact the organizers:
Sari – 905-527-3823 ext 284
Cynthia – 905 523 8766 ext. 4239

Wanna Prevent Gender Violence? 10 Things Male-Identified Allies Can Do

1. Gender violence is a men’s issue, involving men of all ages, races and class backgrounds. View menfolk not only as perpetrators or possible oppressors, but as empowered allies who can confront abusive peers!
2. If someone you know — a friend, classmate, or teammate — is acting in abusive or oppressive was, or is disrespectful towards women and others, Do Not merely look the other way or neglect it